Monday, June 9, 2008
Happy Birthday, Little Boy!
This is purely personal. Today is our son's 3rd birthday. Three years ago today, I was lying on an operating table knowing there was a decent chance I would not wake up again on this earth and my husband would be the one to welcome our little guy alone.
A few months before my due date, I was diagnosed with a VERY rare pregnancy complication. In order to save my life and my son's, we needed to deliver early. A risky delivery with many specialists and a hysterectomy, was the only chance at saving my life. I really struggled going into this situation. I knew that God would not want me to hang onto my family more tightly than him. But I also had a human heart of a wife and a mother who desperately wanted to be on this earth with my family.
The morning I was wheeled in the OR, I was still struggling and fighting back tears. I noticed that country music was blaring in the operating room, which seemed a bit inappropriate considering the seriousness of the situation. I continued to pray, when all of the sudden, I heard these words over the radio,
I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh, I'm already there.
I know that this song is a sappy love song, but in that moment, God gave me his love song and brought peace.
Happy Birthday, Little Man!